28th Century Dickens

Perhaps “Pop”, the aforementioned A Christmas Boner reviewer would prefer this version of A Tale of Two Cities:

The 28th Century was the best of times,

the 28th century was the worst of times,

it was the age of insta-hive-wisdom through nano-implants,

it was the age of foolishness because the nano-implants shut down when ionic mercury storms occurred,

it was the epoch of belief that one could get away with saying bad words behind the bard,

it was the epoch of incredulity on the part of the bard, because you really thought he couldn’t hear you?

it was the season of Light, with 89 hour days ever since Kurr’s Comet struck Neo-Reykjavik in 2597,

it was the season of Darkness,which was mainly due to the ionic mercury storms.

it was the spring of hope that historical insights would be present in a work with “Boner” in the title,

it was the winter of despair, but I kept on trucking, I guess I’m just pigheaded.





I figured out what the new Rifftrax is going to be, thanks to the tweet at the top from @clastowka. I’m not going to blab about what it is, but these gifs are all from that film. It is a-mazing. It’s the kind of ooky, unsettling combination of scary madness and skin-chewing tedium rarely seen outside of films about Scarlett Johansson driving around in a white van collecting Scottish pelts. And about half the film is footage of a public event so boring, so ineptly shot and edited that the only thing you can imagine possibly justifying its preservation on film is that it’s an important piece of evidence in some horrible unsolved crime. 

This movie makes me happier than almost any other that exists.

Coming Thanksgiving 2014

This one is going to be so awesome. The words “Yay Yay” will never be the same again. The other day Mike told me:

all the crap we’ve seen, this probably delights me even more than Birdemic, or Setting up a Room, or even those Santa’s Village of Madness.”

I have to say I agree.